Hi. What are the biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to have a non-monogamous relationship? I’m Dr. Liz from Sex-Positive Psych.

Today, I’m starting a series. So what I’m going to do in this video is give you my 3 things that most mess up you non-monogamous life. And then I’m going to go into more depth on each of them in subsequent videos. So if you love this video, watch for the next three.

So, one of the 3 biggest problems that people tend to face when they’re doing non-monogamy, one of your biggest mistakes, first, not asking for what you want. It can seem really simple in the moment to try to be selfless or try to be perfect poly and not ask for something. But usually, if you don’t ask for it, you’re going to end up missing it. And that builds resentment.

Two, not saying no when you need to. It can be so easy to again, try to people please, try to be perfect or simple or chill and not say no when you need to. And that will doom your relationship.

And three, not knowing what your patterns are. Are you someone who tends to fall deep and hard and fast and then all of a sudden realized that that’s not what you wanted? Are you someone who when you’re in the middle of new relationship energy, you make all kinds of promises that you then don’t want to follow through on?

Know your patterns. You have to know what your patterns are before you can change them. So again, top 3 mistakes.

Number one, not asking or what you want.

Number two, not saying no.

And number three, not knowing your patterns.

Check out the next 3 videos for more information on each of these problems. Dr. Liz Powell from SexPositivePsych.com. See you next time.