Dr. Liz: Yeah. Yeah. How do you keep the spark alive in long-term relationships? Rebecca: Oh, that is – I think that is a really – it seems like an easy question and is also a really tough question because it’s going to depend so much on who you are as individuals and who you […]
How do I know if a partner is gaslighting me? This is a complex question. And the thing about gaslighting is that it is by its very nature, designed to be as invisible as possible. Some things that I would say to look out for. If during conflicts, you feel really confused about why there […]
Can frequently masturbating negatively impact my sex life? It can in the way that anything can. If you are spending 12 hours a day playing video games, that can negatively impact your sex life. If you are working 16 hours a day, that can negatively impact your sex life. The thing here is about balance […]
Can people still cheat in polyamorous relationships? Yes! Absolutely. This is like can abuse happen in BDSM? Yeah, totally. The difference is consent. So in BDSM, when we hit people, we do it in a way that they enjoy and in a way that we have agreed to do it with them and we have […]
What advice would you give someone wanting to add toys to the bedroom for the first time? And the follow-up to that is, how can you be safe using toys with multiple partners? So this is a question I get predominantly from people who are cisgender, straight, and monogamous. The reason being, that most queers […]
What is the difference between BDSM and abuse? So the short answer is informed consent. When we break it down, abuse is about a pattern of control. Abuse is about a way of establishing control, creating isolation so that you can reinforce that control. Abuse can use a lot of different tools. Abuse can use […]
How do I work through feelings of ownership within polyamory? This is a really good question because I think it identifies something that a lot of people have trouble naming and that it makes it harder for them to work through, which is that a lot of the way that the mainstream dating script teaches […]
What tips do you have for someone going through a polyamorous breakup? I think that there is a common misconception that if you are polyamorous and you have multiple partners and you have a breakup with one of them, it’s not as big a deal as if you are monogamous because you still have people. […]
I’m seeing polyamory shown up a lot more in the mainstream media. How do you think the media portray as polyamory versus what is the reality? So I think it’s getting better than it used to but for a very long time, the portrayal of polyamory in media was upper-middle class to rich white folks […]
How do you handle holidays like Valentine’s Day while having multiple partners? So I think that there are a lot of different ways to handle a situation where there is a certain amount of either real or perceived scarcity, and a number of people who want access to whatever that resource is. So this could […]
